forgetting to breathe

slowly. but surely.

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watching the numbers go down on the scale is positive reinforcement to continue not eating…

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it’s like someone’s telling you to breathe and you JUST CANT.

why bother when everyone’s going to look away? when they’re just going to play the blame game? 

i hate living. i need to give up.

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my heart is too big. i think about the hole i would leave behind. i don’t want to die because everyone hates me…i want to do it because i hate myself more than anyone could ever love me.

but isn’t that so much worse?

i hope i can find the courage to finally end it one day 3